My wife and I experienced a great loss in September 2013 when we lost our unborn baby girl, Angel, to late miscarriage at 20 weeks gestation. At first everything seemed normal and my wife felt fine, until at 8 weeks pregnant she started to experience some bleeding, just a little at first but accompanied by back ache.
We had an early scan which showed the baby to be ok and no real evidence of where the bleeding was coming from, we were sent home and told to return if it worsened. A week later and the bleeding suddenly got worse and overnight was accompanied by cramps. My wife was sure she was loosing the baby but the following day the bleeding and cramps had subsided. We arranged another emergency scan, to our surprise the baby was still ok but there was some blood showing still around. Again we were sent away, told to return if it significantly worsened.
For weeks the bleeding continued a little every day, infact there was a total of about 5 days during the remaining 12 weeks of pregnancy where there was no bleeding. The 12 week scan came and went fine but the baby was not in the correct position for the nucal fold test. The estimated delivery date we were given was also a lot later than I had thought it should be, about 13 days out! We were assured that this was quite common but I began to really worry as now the date they were estimating I conceived was the date I had already had a positive pregnancy test!
We returned 2 weeks later for a different test, this time the measurement could not be done again so we were to come back at 15weeks for a different test. At this test our baby was too tightly curled up, something we were told was common for a 15 week baby and we were asked to come back in another few weeks. On our final visit for what we thought was a ‘routine scan’ we were told quite bluntly that there was a significant lack of fluid and that baby’s measurements were very poor. Her head and legs were measuring 17 weeks 4 days but her torso only just over 14 weeks, she was very crunched up and not able to move much. By now, by my dates I should be just over 19weeks pregnant. All the way along the dates had been getting more and more out of sync.
Following a talk with a consultant we were sent to see a specialist foetal medicine doctor, told already that there was no chance of a good outcome. After seeing the specialist and told that the baby was dying and the potential of a leak in my waters could lead to infection we were admitted to hospital to begin the horrific process of a medical miscarriage. We lost our tiny baby girl on 7th September 2013.
Problems were discovered with our Angel after several inconclusive scans and the doctors found out she was very under developed in areas and the fluid level was unsustainably low. Angel was born sleeping in hospital on the 7th September.
At the time of the loss of our baby, there was no individual cremation service on offer we decided on a home burial. On days prior to losing our baby I had made a beautiful burial casket and had created a temporary chapel of rest at home where myself, my wife and our close family members visited angel to spend time with her and give us the opportunity to say goodbye.
There was room in her casket to place some small gifts for her one of which was a little gold cross from my mother along with a tiny teddy bear that one of my sisters had previously took with her on different travels around the world. We gave her a photograph of her mum, dad and brother. We all still take comfort in knowing that these gifts are with her. At the time of her burial a close friend had been to prepare the grave and our parish priest attended to pray with us.
Angel’s grave is now The centre of special care cremation and we have moved out of our home and dedicated it to Angel so that other people can gain the comfort and help in dealing with their loss. This gives us a great feeling that although angels life was so so short it hasn’t been in vain.